A long pause

A pause

 A pause , a long pause. 

There I was standing in the balcony with a sky without any clouds , a sky without any birds and a sky without the sun. 

There I was standing in a long pause with my mind full with dark clouds , with my mind with many dangerous birds and with a dull light. 

I feel numb , my thoughts are numb , they have been stayed there forever and now they don't feel the same. They won't be the same.

Standing there , struggling for the air , struggling for the calmness, struggling with all those packed up emotions all at once , struggling with all those broken parts. 

Another long pause 

A big solid rock crushing the bright thoughts and leaving me with the dull.  Still standing there . Dull , heavy big clouds hovering over my head. 

This seems like a cage which I want to break it down. I have fallen from a height and I know I will be crushed when I hit the ground. Maybe I will stand again quickly or maybe I will stay there until I gather the strength to face the world once again , to face me again. 

I am going down and down , I see nothing just how everything is breaking in me , it's breaking faster than I expected. I kinda knew that everything might break but I never knew that it will hurt this much. If I was prepared that it was gonna break then why is it hurting so much.